My tie feels too tight.
My head is spinning.
My stomach is in knots.
I can't breathe.
I just want to go home, puke, and pass out.

But I can't.

I keep thinking, "If I were me, what would I tell myself right now?"

But I can't think.

It sounds like at least a few of these problems could be solved if you loosened your tie . . .

But the tie looked awesome.

Hmm... I'm with the goddess, I think the tie (or perhaps what it represents) is a good portion of the problem. Yes? No?

By "what the tie represents" I assume you mean convenience. As best I can tell, ties were designed as napkins that didn't need to be shoved in your pocket to make your keys and wallet all nasty. Why else would someone start tieing a piece of cloth around their neck at parties? I am not sure why convenience would cause anxiety. personally, I am a huge fan of convenience.

You can blame the French for the tie. They used it as a symbol of command chain in the Baroque era. It used to be huge and just be around your neck, hanging/sticking out to the side. Then, the intelligent Poles (called crevates by the French) started tucking these into their shirts/vests/coats so that it wasn't a distraction on the field of battle. This became all the rage in Versailles, where the bourgeois started wearing neck fashion the same way. Thus, the beginning of the tie. The British saw this, and of course made it simpler and more complex all at the same time! Yeah for the bastardization of things material.

I'm terrible at tying ties. Maybe it's because I've only worn a tie about three times in my life.......Anyways, anyone who can tie a Full Windsor is a god among men in my view.